started the new class today, think i like it better than the last one although i do still have doubts about this program in general.

am interested in applying to be a flight attendant.

smoked with Alexis twice but over all i'm getting better at not craving cigarettes and compulsively smoking them.

have so continually encountered social drama that i feel like i am beginning to doubt my own self and sincerity. are all these distressing situations the result of my own behavior? if it's the result of others' behaviors, isn't that still a reflection of my own behavior as i have surrounded myself with people whose virtues and vices and personalities i enjoy? or maybe that's just it, maybe they are virtues and vices and personalities i used to enjoy and a large part of why i don't enjoy them anymore is that i've changed, and that is reflected maybe in how i am no longer validated or affirmed in this circle. i'm exhausted.

had delicious family dinner with Isabelle and my roommates, with homemade banananana bread for dessert.

goodnight.